A Duty Of Love...

"The first duty of love is to listen."-Paul Tillich

I've realized the last couple of months that the best thing we could do for one another is to merely listen to each other. One of my closest friends just recently lost her grandfather; her "Opa," she called him. And although she knew her Opa's health was ailing, she still hoped for the best. And during the times of hospice visits and of their ritual Friday night dinners with her family; she waited to listen for her Opa to speak...she just wanted to listen.

Her Opa passed on Friday, and all I could think about was how often we just want to talk; get our point out, and have everyone listen to us. But what I really learned from my friend's situation, was that sometimes it's best to just cling to the words others have to say.

The quote above says, "The first duty of love is to listen." I've begun to realize that if I want any relationship to work, I have to step back and listen to the person whom I care for. Sometimes it can be a lot of listening, to the point where you yourself feel neglected...but often times it's a privilege to be the one people talk to.

I encourage you to just listen with focus and make eye contact, no interrupting! Put the cell phone down, the iPod away, the laptop down. One of the magic questions I've learned to ask is, "how does that make you feel?" Support your friends answers with emotion, never argue with their feelings; otherwise you'll shut them down and they will refrain from talking to you.

I always think of Proverbs 16:23-A wise man's heart guides his mouth, and his lips promote instruction.

I pray as I meet with my friend today, I refrain from talking; and instead listen and love. I would want her to do the same if I needed someone to talk to...